INTO THE DEEP END

Image by Makoto Tsuka on Unsplash

INTO THE DEEP END

Okay, so I know it's Thanksgiving week, but I also know that many of us are going to be struggling our way through it, so this won't be your typical Thanksgiving piece.  My hope is that you'll find God's peace in the season you're in, and that these words might serve as a sort of lifejacket while you struggle through whatever deep waters you find yourself in today.

When I was forty I learned how to swim.  Yep, that's right, I'm a late-bloomer.  Actually, Grace was planning a mission trip to come alongside some missionary friends of ours in the Bahamas (yeah, I know).  I thought it would be a shame to get all the way there and not be able to do anything but stand on that hot, white, sandy beach thinking how deliciously cool it would be to get into that ocean.  

So I decided to sign up for swimming lessons at the Y, and a fascinating thing happened:  Our instructor told us to go into the deep end of the pool and hold onto the side.  Then we were to push ourselves up and then shove ourselves down as hard as we could so that our feet would touch the bottom, and then push ourselves back up to the top.  

I couldn't do it.

No, I didn't run out of the Y scared and tearful.  I just literally could not get to the bottom of the pool!  Even after a few tries.  I was amazed!  I had always assumed that since I didn't know how to swim, if I got into deep water I would just sink like a rock.  But no!

And yet….  When I got to the Bahamas and had my chance to get into the ocean, I got in, of course, but I didn't go very far out at all.  I don't even think I got our into water more than a couple feet over my head.  I knew better in my head, but I hadn't learned yet how to trust what I believed.  (But hey, I can say I swam in the ocean!)

I was reminded of all this the other day when I found a couple journals in my church office.  When I opened them up, I discovered Doug's hand-made Scripture journals for Galatians and Hebrews (they were very much like the ones we give away for our Sunday morning services, only Doug made them by copying and pasting Scripture passages into the journals, and then writing his notes on the opposite pages).  

And then I thought of how Phil, too, got thrown into the deep end a few years ago when his dad, Pastor Doug, died.  And now these journals pop up and he finds a little more strength for his journey.

I found myself giving thanks for the work God is doing–and has been doing–in Phil for the last nearly three years.  You know, Phil didn't start loving Jesus when he became our pastor, he's loved Him for years.  And he knew the Holy Spirit long before he got his own church office.   

All the same, three years ago, Phil was thrown into the deep end.  His dad died just three months into a two-year mentoring and transition plan.  I think now of how ill-prepared Phil was.  I think of the plans Doug had made to mentor and train Phil for pastoral ministry.  And I think of the long, deep conversations, the "informal training" of father-and-son talks I know they had.  But God had other plans.

Here's the thing.  I think Jesus is always calling us into the deep end.  You might be feeling in over your head even while you read this.  It's a metaphor, I know, but all of us will, like Phil, sooner or later find ourselves in over our heads.  We'll find ourselves face to face with someone or something we are completely, utterly unable to handle on our own.  Not because we don't have enough confidence or self-esteem or life skills, and not because we don't love Jesus and hunger for His Holy Spirit, but simply because we are facing giants that truly are bigger than we are.

This is why we are people of faith.  Faith has no place in a world that doesn't know giants.  Faith is the possession of people who know what it is to be in over their heads.

I was talking to a do-er the other day.  You know, the kind of person who feels more comfortable doing and fixing and making than praying and asking and receiving (you might even be a do-er yourself!).  He's in his own deep end right now, and he has several friends and family members who are also in their own deep ends.  And being a do-er he wants to fix it all and make it better–who doesn't?  He reminded me of our series on the spiritual practices last summer that focused on all the sorts of things we can do in order to put ourselves in a position for God to get at us the way He wants to.  And he asked me, "So what practices can I do that will help me and my friends and family get through all this junk?"  

Before I answered him it occurred to me that maybe all of our do-ing is part of the problem.  There will always be a place for do-ing in the Christian life, but sometimes I think the point of finding ourselves in the deep end is so that we can learn to trust the water rather than trust our own flailing arms, so that we can learn to trust the Lord rather than our own efforts, even our own spiritual practices.  

I wrote a piece recently called Life in the Middle Voice, and one of the points I made is that we need to learn how to get more comfortable with passive activity or active passivity.  Think of it like floating.  Your body won't float all on its own, it needs a little help.  So we put our body in a position to do in water what it naturally wants to do.  We need to remind ourselves to do the same thing in daily life.  

So I told my friend that the spiritual practice he ought to be doing is one that would help him learn to surrender, to let go.  We've done a frequent exercise on Sunday mornings lately in which we practice two minutes of silence with no agenda other than making ourselves available to God.  What if we took just a couple minutes to pray "Into Your hands, Lord."  Or "Have Your way with me, O God."  Or "I give You permission to do in me whatever You want, Lord."  Or like Mary, "Be it done to be according to Your word."  Or something else.  Or all of these!  This is a wonderful way to practice putting ourselves in a position to stop our restless do-ing and enter into God's rest, giving Him permission to work in us and through us.  We become the work of God instead of always working for God.  See the difference?  

God wants very much to accomplish something in you!  He doesn't only want to do something through you.  In fact, there's a good possibility that He won't be able to do what He wants to do through you until He accomplishes what He wants to in you.

So, are you in deep waters these days?  Just simply knowing that you are in over your head is a gift of the Holy Spirit.  Give thanks and know that God is offering rest and peace for your soul.  Phil's waybread this week came in the form of a couple old journals found in an office in which his dad used to sit.  Where will yours come from?  Try taking two minutes and see!

I'm so thankful that God is blessing Phil as our pastor (and blessing us through him!).  But I also want each of you to know that the very same hand of blessing that rests on Phil's head rests on the head of all those who love Jesus and entrust themselves to Him.

"The Lord bless you

    and keep you;

the Lord make his face to shine on you

    and be gracious to you;

the Lord lift up his countenance upon you

    and give you peace."  (Numbers 6:24-26)

Be encouraged, friend, for God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, who spoke all worlds into being, is both with you and for you.